"Mom, I'm worried your expectations are too high for this trip." Sam, January 2019
We were sitting together on the couch when Sam uttered these words to me. My initial reaction was to laugh, and then my heart twinged inside my chest. He is absolutely right, and I know it. I have had high expectations my whole life, and this trip is no different.
And with high expectations there is the vulnerability of potential (even probable) disappointment.
Honestly I thought by now that we would have many people from around the world following our adventure planning and preparation. I thought we would have dozens, maybe hundreds of people signed up for our mailing list. I expected to have dozens of people come to our house to buy cards at the event Cards for the Camino. I expected that our authenticity would encourage thousands in donations.
This has not been the reality.
Am I disappointed? Sure. I doubt myself as I invest so much of my resources in creating this adventure over earning more money. We are making great sacrifices and living on a shoestring in order to manifest our camino. In my heart I wonder if it will be worth it. I worry we might not be able to actually do it. There is no neat and tidy way to prepare and plan, and fear could devour the joy.
But that isn't the end of it.
I have already met amazing people because of Fifty and Ten. I have been able to tell our story to hundreds of people. I have been blown away by the generosity of a handful of people. {Thank you! Thank you! Thank you doesn't seem nearly enough.} I have started to tell Sam that we have another "Camino Miracle" as people share ideas, money, and equipment.
It's extraordinary to be able to live a life like this. There is power in realizing that we are already on our Camino as we begin to prepare for the tangible journey.
Along with high expectations I have been gifted the capacity to bounce back quickly from disappointment. That might be the most powerful tool in my personal strength arsenal. I can say with great confidence that I am resilient.
And that is the gift that I wish to impart to Sam. I know he would rather avoid expectation than be disappointed. He never asks Santa for specific gifts so that he won't be disappointed. He avoids new experiences, so he won't be disappointed. I am trusting that our Fifty and Ten Camino adventure will fill him with his own high expectations, a capacity to move quickly through disappointment, and a steely resilience to carry with him through life.
{Extra gratitude today for everyone who has supported this Fifty and Ten in so many ways. We could not do this without you.}
